Relax, screaming isn't going to make the boat sink any slower.

I don't really know what this picture has to do with anything, but it looks cool

Ah, school starts tomorrow. Back to the grind. The overtime. The hours of toil over Boo Radley's  glowing screen. The stress of deadlines I can barely make. Compulsively checking my grades every chance I get. A sudden rise in my blood pressure and the possibility of gray hair. Joy! No, that wasn't sarcasm. I'm excited. Hence, the exclamation point.

I love school. I do. It's amazing. I love it. Have I mentioned that I love it? Sometimes, it just leaves me a tad frazzled. Like now, for example, I should be getting a jumpstart on my school work by doing my reading for my literature course, but I'd rather finish Mockingjay. Of course, with all the work that must be done I find my self walking in circles and checking Facebook every five minutes instead of even reading for pleasure. I can't relax and I can't work. I'm in limbo. Like when a movie isn't in theaters anymore, but it isn't on DVD either. Or like puberty. -shudder-

Because I can't relax myself, I'm going to help you relax.

*cue Hawaiian hula dancing music*

Below are the cures to some of the most common habits induced by stress.

FUZZY SLIPPERS O.O 

PACING

If you find yourself pacing, sit down.

BITING NAILS

Chop off your fingers. Sounds gruesome, I know, but you can always grow new ones.

What?

You can't? Only lizards and robots can do that?

Well...you can always get cyborg fingers. Who doesn't want some of those?

BITING LIP

Tear out your teeth. Avoid solid food after. This will also solve the nail-biting problem.

BANGING HEAD AGAINST WALL

Distance yourself from walls.

NERVOUS EATING

Lock yourself in a closet. I'm not sure how this helps...it just does.

PULLING HAIR OUT

Shave head.

SETTING FIRE TO RANDOM OBJECTS

STOP.

Not all-inclusive, but certainly helpful, if  I do say so myself. Just remember, relax. Hyperventilating won't make the bullet wound hurt any less.

Have any other stress-induced habits you need help with? Tell me and I'll address it in a blog post.

Presenting...Boo Radley!

Today, I would like to talk about the wonderful and beautiful Boo Radley. I think he's the coolest thing since minced pears....and edible fedoras (BUY ME ONE FOR MY BIRTHDAY!).

No I don't mean this Boo Radley:

Though, he's pretty amazingsauce, he can't quite compare to this:

Say Hello to Boo Radley. LOOK HOW SHINY!

That's right. Say hello to my little friend. I finally got a MacBook, baby. He shall be called Boo Radley. Below is the top three reasons why Boo Radley amazing, but can't quite compare to my brand new friend, Boo Radley (confused, yet?):

1. Sure, Boo Radley has mad ninja skills, not to mention he's a socially awkward recluse (sound familiar? *cough*likeme*cough*), but can he last TEN HOURS on a single charge? The answer is no. Boo Radley needs TWO charges to last 10 hours. Boo Radley is also a robot...
2. Yeah, Boo Radley is a Robot Ninja, but can he read aloud an ENTIRE webpage? Can he recognize faces just by looking at PICTURES? No. No, he can not.
3. I made this picture on my Mac:

Don't you dare ask me about Boo Radley's pants.

CAN BOO RADLEY MAKE PICTURES!?!?!

Actually, I'm not sure. Let me go ask him.

BOO RADLEEEEYYY!!!!